im moving toooooo slow

So lets see....March started with my daddy and ended with J. My dads 61st bday was on March 1st. We were supposed to go to the cemetary but my biotch ass sister went without us so J and I went to my moms house and spent the day with her. J turned 1 at the end of the month and we had a big party for him. My baby is soo advanced (no jinx) and im sooo proud of him.
I got my drivers license, after having my permit for 8 years and driving for 10 years, in April. Ive also been dreaming about my dad a lot this month. I still miss that man so much.
School has been kicking may ass. Its not that its hard, the problem is I cant seem to concentrate and focus like I used to. Im going to try to kick ass this month and up my grade.

Theres so much I want to talk about but too many people read these damn blogs and I dont want the world in my BUSINESS. *sigh* I need to pack my shit and move to another state with J and my mom. I need a new LIFE. Im tired of it all.

Why is it no matter how much we try to be good people shit just never works in our favor?

dayyuummm its been a month already

so lets see what has happened since my last blog. i started school and had 2 exams back to back. for my pharm exam i drunk a doppio from starbucks to help me stay up and study. y that bad boy had me up for ova 30 hrs. i saw a c-section at clinicals and it was amazing. i didnt feel like passing out dis time around, i think dats cuz im not prego. the Dr was crazy rude, yeah the people working wit her were moving slow but dag she was ghetto rude. when the baby came out he took a minute to cry and it was scary cuz he was jus laying there lifeless and his eyes looked empty. oh i had a not so great bday party for Mr Man, it aint worth talking about.

lets talk bout J - he started walking Jan 29th and has been up and down round and round this house, i cant keep up. hes gettin so big, says a few words, & undastands commands, oh how i luv him. sad to say hes been sick for 2 wks now :( he caught his fathers cold last week and now he has a virus wit a steady 102.5* + temp. its killin me, last nite he gave us a big scare. he was sleepin and all of a sudden started crying, he cudnt breathe cuz he was congested and he had a 103* temp but was shivering. today he seems ok, but its still early.

uummm i think dats all for now. see ya when i see ya, wudnt wanna be ya ;)
well unless ur a size 6/8 wit a flat stomach, a phat ass & hips :blush

Time Off

Am I late or what. Florida was GREAT. I needed the break and I soooo wished I cudve stayed a week longer. Baby J also enjoyed himself. He was a lil afraid at first, when he saw my aunt and cousins, but he warmed up to them rather quickly esp my cousin L. I think thats cuz she smells like his dad, lolllllll. The wedding was beautiful and so much fun but lawddd my stilettoes were killing my my poor lil legs. GGGGRRRRRR this is exactly why I needed a longer vacation. Fackin Niggas always need to find a way to put me in a bad mood. I shudve never came back. I had a whole lot of good things to say bout my vacation but im not the mood now so ill havta to stop. Laterz

doe doe brain

so today i started packin baby J's clothes for our trip to Fl and i was goin crazy. i wanna pack all his clothes in a carry on but i dont think its gonna happen. we're gonna be there for 5 days and i have bout 20 outfits set aside for him. i know i know but i dont wanna not bring enuff clothes and the weather changes up and hes either too hot or cold. anyways i was gettin a headache so i asked his dad what to do and the retard said "ur only goin for 5 days and only 1 day is important, the day of the weddin. hes gonna be in the house wit u the other days so he doesnt need all those outfit." im like wtf r u smokin, well differently from what u always smokin that is. im goin away wit my baby for his first vacation and u think we jus gonna be sittin in the house all day. so i told my homie E and he said im havin new mommy syndrome but i think that means im bein a good mommy cuz im makin sure hes prepared for whateva. what do u think? u know what i dont care. im bringin everything i think he needs and if he doesnt get to wear it oh well so what.

today was also my dumb day on imix and everybody was laughin at me. it was cool but i wish butthead bk was still on cuz it wudda made it betta. the fart signed off after i signed on.

back to a packin i must go......in a day ill see ya in Flo rida :)

Year In Review 2k5

i spent 2005 full of mixed emotions. 12:00 midnite and im crying like a big baby, snot running down my nose and all. y, for two reasons, firstly because i am seven months prego and im happy as shite and secondly because my father suffered another mild heart attack and was in the CCU at Brookdale Hospital with a tube down his throat helpin him breathe cuz hes too weak to breathe on his own. they thought he might not make it but i stayed positive and i prayed for him everynite and guess what he made it. my dad was taken off of the respirator a couple of days after i told him i was having a boy. :) he was transferred to a rehabilitation home which was good but the bad part was that he was in there for about a month missing the baby shower hes been planning wit me from the day i told him i was prego and even while he was in rehab. :( all the while im getting bigger and bigger and im doin well in nursing school, then the bomb drops. my Dr thinks my baby might end up over 9 lbs and im at my due date with no signs of goin into labor, i might have a C-section meaning ill have to withdraw from my classes. :( fine, i withdrew cuz i ended up having an episiotomy which basically means they cut my boomgina down to my ass crack and i cudnt walk for almost 2 wks. :( but yes my lil pumkin was born and ill say it was all worth it cuz I LOVE HIM TO DEATH. :D but as i was goin in to the hospital to deliver my dad was also goin in to the hospital for shortness of breath so he missed that as well. 3 wks later my favorite aunt, my dads younger sister by 2 yrs, dies from ALS/Lou Gerhig's disease. :( weeks are passing and my dad is getting weaker by the day so they finally decide its time to put the pacemaker in and its a success despite the hi chance he might not make it thru surgery. BUT less than a month later, the day before Father's Day, my dad passed away and a part of me died with him. I MISS THAT MAN SO MUCH THAT IT HURTS MY HEART WHEN I THINK ABOUT HIM, im cryin now as i type this. I THINK ABOUT HIM EVERYDAY AND WISH I CUD SIT ON HIS LAP OR LAY NEXT TO HIM LIKE I USTA. AND WHAT HURTS THE MOST IS THAT HES NOT HERE TO WATCH MY BABY GROW UP. he missed his christening, first halloween costume party, thanksgiving, christmas, and New Year. hell also miss his first birthday :( the only thing that has kept me goin is baby J. he keeps the smile on my face when im thinkin bout my dad. the year ended wit my baby turnin 9 months and i started off the New Year by goin to TC's house party and shakin my laffy taffy like i usta. well almost like i usta, cant turn the waist wit all this fat round it and my knee gave out on me, steuuppss. i was able to get a 5 min laugh wit my buddy bk in between her CRAZY in luv session. next up is my Fl vacation, ill be gone for a week to attend a wedding, and ill goin back to nursing school this month. :)