Year In Review 2k5

i spent 2005 full of mixed emotions. 12:00 midnite and im crying like a big baby, snot running down my nose and all. y, for two reasons, firstly because i am seven months prego and im happy as shite and secondly because my father suffered another mild heart attack and was in the CCU at Brookdale Hospital with a tube down his throat helpin him breathe cuz hes too weak to breathe on his own. they thought he might not make it but i stayed positive and i prayed for him everynite and guess what he made it. my dad was taken off of the respirator a couple of days after i told him i was having a boy. :) he was transferred to a rehabilitation home which was good but the bad part was that he was in there for about a month missing the baby shower hes been planning wit me from the day i told him i was prego and even while he was in rehab. :( all the while im getting bigger and bigger and im doin well in nursing school, then the bomb drops. my Dr thinks my baby might end up over 9 lbs and im at my due date with no signs of goin into labor, i might have a C-section meaning ill have to withdraw from my classes. :( fine, i withdrew cuz i ended up having an episiotomy which basically means they cut my boomgina down to my ass crack and i cudnt walk for almost 2 wks. :( but yes my lil pumkin was born and ill say it was all worth it cuz I LOVE HIM TO DEATH. :D but as i was goin in to the hospital to deliver my dad was also goin in to the hospital for shortness of breath so he missed that as well. 3 wks later my favorite aunt, my dads younger sister by 2 yrs, dies from ALS/Lou Gerhig's disease. :( weeks are passing and my dad is getting weaker by the day so they finally decide its time to put the pacemaker in and its a success despite the hi chance he might not make it thru surgery. BUT less than a month later, the day before Father's Day, my dad passed away and a part of me died with him. I MISS THAT MAN SO MUCH THAT IT HURTS MY HEART WHEN I THINK ABOUT HIM, im cryin now as i type this. I THINK ABOUT HIM EVERYDAY AND WISH I CUD SIT ON HIS LAP OR LAY NEXT TO HIM LIKE I USTA. AND WHAT HURTS THE MOST IS THAT HES NOT HERE TO WATCH MY BABY GROW UP. he missed his christening, first halloween costume party, thanksgiving, christmas, and New Year. hell also miss his first birthday :( the only thing that has kept me goin is baby J. he keeps the smile on my face when im thinkin bout my dad. the year ended wit my baby turnin 9 months and i started off the New Year by goin to TC's house party and shakin my laffy taffy like i usta. well almost like i usta, cant turn the waist wit all this fat round it and my knee gave out on me, steuuppss. i was able to get a 5 min laugh wit my buddy bk in between her CRAZY in luv session. next up is my Fl vacation, ill be gone for a week to attend a wedding, and ill goin back to nursing school this month. :)